Can You Teach Someone To Be Happy?

Can you teach someone to be happy?   The articles say you have to find happiness within yourself.  Nobody can make you happy.

I have mixed feelings on that.  

I know listening to music makes me happy.    OK, so I make myself happy. However, I know a person who makes me smile just by thinking of her. Being with her” makes me happy.” She has such a fun personality; I wish I could be around her every day. Therefore, someone else can make me happy.

I was happy when my sons were growing up; they brought joy into my life daily. What makes me most happy is when every one of my family is together.  Extreme happiness?  My seven wonderful, treasures. Grandchildren!

My Happiness   . . . . . .   My family all in good health

                                             A phone call from a close friend

                                              A book or magazine in the mail

                                              A favorite relative surprise visit.

                                               An unexpected thinking of you card

                                               When I make bread from scratch

                                               Out of plain cloth I do a counted cross stitch                                                piece

There are so many things that make me happy and I’m sure they make you happy also.

 I enjoy being around people.   In addition, I enjoy my own company (when I have to. :-)

How do you feel ?     

                   

 

I TALK TO MUCH

I was very shy as a young girl. You would never know that today, I start up conversations with complete strangers at the grocery store or where ever I may be.

 Sometimes, after the fact, I say to myself "self, you talk too much, you tell too much of your inner feelings to people."

I am in the process of writing my memoirs and my beliefs for my family to read down the road.
 What the heck am I doing sharing it with people I hardly know?

 I have to accept the fact that I put so much of me out there for people to read. Hopefully not too many read it or are interested in what I write about. Thinking that way is a relief. After all with so many hundreds of blogs. I am like a small grain of sand among so very many grains.

I am far from the perfect writer. I need help in many areas. I write on my blog to practice, and even though one or two of you may think I know what I am doing, you are so wrong. Like right now as I type, this it is automatically being underlined and I have no idea why!
 But with this blog I hope to become proficient, of course I have no clue how many years it will take or even if I will accomplish it!

I am involved in two writing groups. When both of them tell me at different times to work on a specific area, you best believe I will work on that exclusively.  I'll focus on that part of my writing and probably will practice on this blog.

My family is the most important thing to me and one day I hope to have put together a book that will be of interest to them.

I have a long way to go before I am even close to doing it correctly. But when that time comes, I will print everything out to read it on paper, then I, or someone will critique it, change it, edit it or all of the above. I know I will add the most popular recipes from my grandmother and my mother. After all food is a very important part of our memoirs.

Then I will separate the memoirs from my beliefs and put together a memoir of my life for my grandchildren and their children to read.

OH WHAT A NIGHT

Way back in May of 1962 I was on my way to a Bowling Banquet with a very special guy in my life.

We were riding along in the car when all of a sudden he pulls
over and stops. I looked at him in surprise and said "is there something wrong?" He said no while reaching for a small bag on the back seat. He put it in my lap and said "open it; I want you to wear it tonight."

 When I saw the small box in the bag my heart started beating real fast - oh yes! I knew what was in that little package and I couldn't believe he was giving it to me tonight.

We both had gone months before to pick out and lay away my engagement ring. We chose Goodman's Jewlery Store in McKeesport. A very upscale and trusted one that everyone went to. Walking in we went right to the case where all the engagemnet and wedding rings were in. Mt. Goodman, one of the sons took care of us, he was wonderful. He didn't try to push us, or show us this or that. He let us take our time in looking and trying on different rings.
There were so many rings to pick from, I sort of knew in the back of my mind the style I wanted. We picked out a beautiful half caret solitaire in white gold. I had tried on many different styles, but always went back to the first one I tried on my finger.

I loved the simplicity along with the elegance of the solitaire. It looked like it was made just for me. It was so very beautiful that I hated to leave it there. But, the happiness I felt had to be enough.

If I was right, my beautiful ring was what was in this little box.
 
My fingers were trembling as I tried to unwrap the paper, it was wrapped so pretty. He said" here, let me help you with that" and tore the paper off. He opened the box and I gasped as I saw my ring, it was more beautiful then I remembered. 

All I could see was how the ring sparkled when I opened the pretty velvet box. I could feel my eyes filling up with tears.

I just looked at him in awe, I watched as he took it out of the box and slid it on my finger.

I never expected this to be the moment. Oh, my gosh! It looked so  elegant and beautiful on my finger. Better yet it meant that this special guy was going to be all mine for now and forever.

His father owned an upholstery shop and he worked part time there. His job was to strip all the furniture down to the bare wood.
It was surprising for him to see all of the change people had fall out of their pockets and then fell in the chairs and couches, sometimes even green money. He started to save it up and at the end of every  two weeks he went down to pay on my ring. That is how he was able to give my my engagement ring.

It was a  very special and  romantic way to receive my ring.

                                 

                                    

WHY -TELL ME

Why do people feel as if they have to explain themselves?

Well, not all people, my husband doesn't feel that way. Maybe only women feel that way? not all women? There are a lot of people I know that say they don't care what people think of them.

Me, I always feel as if I have to explain myself. I blame it on going to Catholic school; those nuns really did a job on me, probably most of us! They gave us that Catholic guilt and we swallowed it, hook, line and sinker.
I get so mad at myself for feeling this way. I have no reason to feel I have to explain myself. My character should be enough, but yet I do get concerned.
I have such mixed feelings about life in general. I have so much to be thankful for and should not complain about anything, actually I am thankful I can complain, but I have no right to. It's all petty stuff that don't make a hill of beans. Is that the right saying? hmm? Let me know, those of you who read this.
I shouldn't sweat the small stuff. The small material stuff. But IS IT considered the small stuff that I sweat about the disfigurement of my body? The every time I look in the mirror I see disfigurement? Every time I take a shower I see disfigurement in another area . Every time I go somewhere I am self conscious, will that ever go away?  Will I ever lose the weight so I can have the physical disfigurement taken care of? At my age am I brave enough or able to have it done?

Five and a half years of living since being diagnosed with Breast Cancer, should I even care about the above?

Let me change the subject to the BIG STUFF  - - - -
Just today I read about another Catholic priest who fathered a child while a priest. Reading about them being pedophile’s, having relationships with women, and fathering children, my faith in the priesthood is diminishing.  

Now maybe the percentage is not that high of the ones we hear about in the news, or read about in the paper. No matter, it’s still too high for me. They are representing our Lord and took the vow to be chaste.

Reading and hearing that the church covers most of it up and sends them to another parish where they can repeat the offense

 really leaves me down hearted and doubtful of my beliefs.

Not my belief in God, but my belief in the majority of the ones that run the church. The man made rules. Confession to confess your sins from a man representing God, I haven’t believed that for a long time. I tell God my sins and there is a part in the Mass that asks God to heal us.

So, what is a person to do? Right now at the church I belong to is a priest whose sermons don’t reach me, doesn’t stay with me. So we don’t go to that church, we go to another one where the pastor we think is wonderful. He reaches inside of us with his sermons, the music moves our soul and we leave feeling renewed.

What are your thoughts?

BELIEVING IN THE SPIRITS

SUPERNATURAL EXPERIENCES AND OTHER HAPPENINGS

I have had two experiences with spirits.

My first one was back in 1976 when my Dad passed away. I was the only one up; everyone else was in bed sleeping. I was folding towels in the living room when I saw this shadow passing on the wall and at the same time had the strangest sensation going through my body. I just knew it was my Dad.  

On March 25, 1995 my mom passed away while in the hospital. They had called both my brother and me to tell us there had been a change in our mother’s condition. After leaving the hospital, I went with my brother and husband to the funeral home to make arrangements. They said to pick out the jewelry we wanted my mom to wear and to bring it back to the funeral home. So all three of us left and went to my Mom’s home. We left Ron downstairs in the living room and my brother and I went upstairs in my mom’s bedroom to look through her jewelry.

All of a sudden we heard this car horn blaring.  My brother said it sounded like some one’s car horn was stuck.  We both got up and looked out the window. The only car in the parking lot was my mother’s and that blaring was coming from her car!  We just looked at each other dunbfounded and then we knew she that it was her way was telling us she got to heaven OK. My husband who was downstairs, went out to stop the horn. He could not get the car horn to stop, and he actually had to open the hood and disconnect the cables to the battery! He was shook as we were.

I had one strange experience that happened to me without a reason. I was a teenager still living at home.  My mom was having card club when I got home from my date. It was sort of crowded downstairs so I went straight up to my room and got ready for bed.

 

I was having a hard time falling asleep with the noise coming from downstairs, but finally drifted off. Something woke me up and I don’t know what but the next thing I knew, I was having an out of body experience. I was out of my body looking down on myself. It scared the bee gee’s out of me and I called my self-down. I just said to come down and it listened or I listened. I don’t know what caused  this too happen or why it happened, but it was really  weird and I hope it never happens again.

No one believes me when I tell this, but it is the truth

My friend has this happening:

When I was preggers with Mackensey I woke up one night and saw a little girl in a white dress standing in my bedroom doorway. I told my husband and he thought I was crazy. I told him we were having a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. And we did!

MY OPINION AND ONLY MINE

 
I usually steer away from subjects of controversy, but I am breaking my own rule this time.

Once we become of age, our life is ours to live the way we see fit, and to make of it what we wish.

As long as we don't break the law morally or physically, as long as we don't hurt or abuse anyone, no one should pound on our doors.

We all make choices of how we live our life. Many of us are wholesome people that are living life to the fullest. It is our decision to turn away from things that can ruin or destroy our life.  

Back in the Fifties the blacks were not able to live their lives the way they wanted because of the way they were treated.

 In 1950 people were so sure that they were right in how they treated the Negro’s. They made life sad and miserable for them without remorse.

In 1956, Rosa Parks was arrested for refusing to move from the front of the bus that was for white people only. She stood her ground. I so admire her.

Miss Lucy had rocks and eggs thrown at her for being the first Negro to be admitted to the University of Alabama.

No one hung out or dated a Negro for fear that they would be shunned by their own race and their own people.  The babies that were born to a white or black mom or dad back then were either shunned by the blacks or by the whites. No one would accept them.

 Growing up in today’s world, it should not matter what color their skin. We should be way passed that. They are children, teens or adults and we are all one. We have the same organs, the same thoughts, we feel the same happiness, the same hurts. We are one and the same is my thought.

Slowly things were turning for a better life for the Negro.  In 1950 Althea Gibson was the first Negro to compete in the United States Championship games.

In 1952 Negros were allowed to play golf on Mondays only at Miami Springs Country Club, the other days whites only could tee off.

  In 1954 racial segregation was outlawed in the public schools of America. Finally being treated equal was happening. Since President Obama was elected President, closed doors are non-existent, they are all opened.

Back in 1952 there was a news flash of a man by the name of
George Jorgenson. The reason he made the news was because he had a sex operation that changed him to a her. The name became Christine. There were a lot of jokes made of that incident from what I can remember.

 Today it’s not as rare to hear of that taking place. The people that come out, as they say, are strong in their beliefs. They do not go hiding in the corner or hiding the fact. They admit it, which takes a lot of courage in my opinion. For instance, some that come to mind are Ellen DeGeneres & her partner,and Rosie and her partner. I know there are others, but I can’t think of the names right now. I know regular everyday people also, and other then the fact they love each other in a romantic way, they live just like we do, with jobs, activities and so forth.

No, it’s not the norm in our world. I know that. I know there are a lot of legal questions, like marriage and insurance, benefits and so forth. I don’t know all of the legalities involved.
What I do believe though, is that it is their life. If this is how they feel, who are we to say they can’t feel that way? How are they interfering with mine or yours?
They’re not. Let's let them live their lives, leave them alone and focus our energy on the ones that steal, murder, beat up, or abuse people and children.
The ones who should be outcast are the pedophiles, the ones who molest our children. The priests that YOU go and confess your sins so they can be forgiven.  They have the power to forgive you? The ones who stand up and preach the bible and act so holy. The football coach who a kid trusts and looks up to just to have that faith destroyed by being abused and feeling ashamed.

These are just my thoughts, you don’t have to agree or disagree. If you want to comment please feel free to.

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THERE'S THE RIGHT WAY AND THEN THERES THE WRONG WAY

It's funny how I think I know some one only to find out that I really don't. When it happened, I was disappointed. This was someone I thought highly of. 
I had always admired this person for their spirit, their intelligence and how good they were at doing so many different things with success.
Actually I looked up to them and how they manage to live their life, with life being tough.
This person is some one younger then myself - much younger. But  mature.
 I often wondered if I would be able to be strong with so many adversities that face them daily.
I know that no one is perfect, that's why they make erasers on pencils.
Everyone is human and make mistakes. Even the person who thinks they are perfect. (lol)
 But, it still surprised me the way this person handled themselves in a situation.
Some things are hard to do, but they have to be done, because it is the
decent thing to do and the right thing to do.
I know that if it were me I would of handled it the correct way and with respect for the people involved even though it would of been hard.
It is what it is and I have to accept the fact.

LIKING MYSELF

Good Morning to me!  Good Afternoon to me!  I'm smiling at me!  I love/like me. I have many talents,  in hair dressing, in drawing, baking - oh I could go on but will stop before I am really into myself (lol).

 I have talent in writing, though awhile back I let myself believe two people who criticized me so bad that I stopped writing for a good while, how foolish of me to let them destroy something I so enjoyed. Who knows, they could of been right,but the way they put it across was beyond rude. And they are not professionals in that field.

I may not know the exact place to put the commas, periods, etc. but I know how to write and to reach the soul of someone - I've had too many people tell me they like my writing, I was stupid to let myself believe the two who said I didn't. The people who like my writing outnumber the two that ripped it apart.

Don't get me wrong, I will gladly take the advice of  professionals who are excellent in their grammar and punctuation. I have learned so much from our Creative Writing Group and I really value their opinion. I know how to listen, genuinely listen to someone and I try to get something out of what they are saying. I truly can keep a confidence which in turn let people trust me

 I have heard the expression -

wow, he/she is really into themselves, that to me means that the person only thinks about themselves and do only what they want to do  not caring about the other person- I'm not sure if this is the right meaning or not, but that is how I perceive it.

 When I would hear a person say this about someone, I would think, boy that person has a lot to learn. But, you know what? maybe not, maybe they could teach us a few things! 

Think about it - if we don't like our self , who will? If we are always doubting our self because we think the other person knows better, we are doing a big dis-service to ourselves. Why, because other people will sense that and act accordingly, and who is to say the other person knows better? Everyone has their own way of doing things and that doesn't make it the only right way to do it.

When I worked full time I was in customer service,  I did the billing along with many other jobs.. I was the one doing the billing during the day and I did it the way it worked for me, if I thought it needed a delivery charge then I charged it , if there was a credit, I applied it -  the night turn girl did the billing the way it was easy for her, neither one of us did it wrong, even tho we did it in different ways. When we took care of a customer on the phone we took care of the whole problem ,and we each solved it in our own way, some one else might have handled it in another manner, but as long as the problem was taken care of , the customer happy it was good,   Heck, I felt that the place was my second home, I had been there so long. I was loyal, trusted and did everything they asked. I use to open up the warehouse at 5 in the morning with me being the only one in that humongous warehouse, except for one morning when I had a mouse in the office!! Scared the heck out of me by making all of that noise in a trash can he was trying to get out of, It took me awhile to find out what the noise was from and laughed at myself when I found out the reason. I just put a light cover on top of it and gave it to Leonard when he got in. He let it live.

You probably will laugh when I tell you I use to be a reserved and shy person except with my family. You don't see that in me today. I hope you see someone who is cheerful and makes you feel happy ,and one you can talk to knowing she will listen and care.  I am a person who speaks her mind, that's not always a good quality, I try to keep my mouth shut but usually fail, that part of my personalty does not go over real well with my family. But -  it does clear the air and they know how I feel. I don't talk about it behind their back.
 I also have a way of saying things the wrong way without meaning it the way it sounds. This is what bothers me the most. I try to watch how I say things, but darn if I don't still continue to do it. I dislike that I am having a hard time overcoming that.

Just a little bit about me to add to my memoirs.

  

MAY DAYS

It's a start, a beginning of writing my memoirs. I have bits and pieces written already, but its all helter skelter. I mainly started writing with a newsletter to my family, cousins, friends, in-laws and so on. It started out being called The Giving Tree. Once a month I would ask for some news to put in the newsletter and mainly received some interesting stuff. But, then with everything, people stopped contributing or else they said they didn't have any news. I still kept writing mainly about my sons and their families and Ron. But I didn't like that to much because it was like "all about us" Who is interested reading all about the "Clark's ? So after a bit I started a e-mail news letter and called it "Clark's Summit". At first I would write down incident's that I thought interesting, I didn't know if anyone would read it or not, but I kept writing them. I like to write for myself, but thought I would share and if people wanted to read it was there, if not all they had to do was hit delete.

Little did I know at the time that this would end up being a life savor for me. As most of you know, I was diagnosed Triple Negative Ductile Invasive Breast Cancer in October of 2006.  I wrote about my whole experience, every day I would write, I asked for prayers, I shared my deepest fears and thoughts with everyone. I can not even begin to tell you how that helped me. To know everyone was praying for me and encouraging me was the best thing ever for my mental health. They sent me prayers, gifts, wrote to me - it meant the world to me and I truly believe that they helped me survive. Of course my faith and love of  God was tremendous.
The above will be put into my Memoir book, but there is so much more of my life I have to put together. I wish I could work on it every day but that is impossible with my schedule.  I'll keep at it a little bit at a time, but right now I have to start looking for the rest of this blog - can't imagine what happened to it or is it lost in cyberspace somewhere?
Somehow half of this blog is missing - I can't find it - yet -----I haven't given up looking