Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Spring - a time for renewal and new birth.
Today marks three weeks and two days since I was operated on, and finally - I feel myself becoming a little stronger. I'm also healing physically.
Of course I don't know how strong I really am, since I still can't manage steps and only have 3 rooms, plus a powder room to roam through. But, I think if I could do more, I would feel even stronger.
I'm happy to say that my mental health has improved also, thank goodness. I could not stand myself! I thank God, and all of you praying for me, Prayers are the reason for my improvement.
I still have one drain in, I don't know where all of the fluid is coming from, I sure hope it is almost done so I can get this pulled out. Then I will be able to drive and do some normal things, but still not able to lift five pounds or more until I am completely healed.
I have the nicest, most beautiful, caring, wonderful nurse navigator, She is truly an angel on earth. She has helped me so much, I don't know what I would do without her. She has been with me since I had my biopsy. I always look forward to seeing her or talking to her, she takes her time with me. She is a breast cancer survivor who feels empathy for all.
I sure miss working, I miss seeing everyone, and doing programs.
Things seem to be going forward quite well without me. That is good for them, bad for me.
Other then last week, when my director came to visit me, yesterday was the nicest day I have spent at home since I had my operation. Two lovely, lively, fun women from one of my programs came to visit. We had such a fun afternoon. It was good to laugh so much, I wish that could happen a couple of times a week. It was so good to interact with them instead of over the computer - it's just a machine, I do have a camera to have face to face contact, but it has never happens, so I took it down.
The kids have been over once or twice, and we have been over to my one son's to help or watch them make Easter Baskets. It was fun & dinner was included. I love being around my little gems, they can put a smile on my face faster then you can say boo. They are so loving, so happy and so lively. I'm thankful we live close, but I wish at times like this we lived even closer.
There are some people that think a 5 minute or 10 minute phone call out of a 24 hour day is sufficient. Those of you who are shut ins' that can't get out, or ill and recuperating, know that it is not even a drop in the bucket. How do you handle the days if you are a shut-in? How do you handle the days if you don't have neighbors or family stopping in? I can't - I try, but I truly can't. I doubt if anyone that is a shut in or house bound is even reading this, so I guess I won't have an answer. I truly wish I knew some people that were house bound, because I would make it my business to visit them when this drain comes out, or call them if they were not up to visitors.
I know that there are people that like staying home everyday, but they have a car and get out if they wanted, they probably get phone calls or have their spouses at home, so that is an all together different ballgame from a shut-in.
Kids have their own families to take care of, but to some even a phone call takes to much time or is to much to do out of the day. I don't understand it.
Everybody is different, but it makes me wonder why some people think to call everyday and some just can't find the time, because they are to busy or it does not enter their mind.
I miss seeing seeing and talking to everyone, I know I could never stay at home every day. Now I know why I see elderly volunteers at the hospitals, they need to get out and about, and see people. They are blessed that they are able to get out.
I truly feel for the shut-in's that can't get out, or have no one to call them or visit them. I can't imagine living like that every day.
When I was a child and young teenager, my mom always had people stopping in for coffee and to talk, that was when women stayed at home. and my dad, he was very involved with the fire hall where he was president. We live in an altogether different world today.
Doctor visit today. drain still in, too much fluid is still coming out. He said 9 (NINE) chemo treatments. He also said I didn't have to have chemo, but there would be a 40 percent chance of recurrence - so what would your choice be?
I am 6 years older, my body is probably older then that since the last chemo session. But I'm going for it
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
In the middle of January I felt it, I'm thinking scar tissue, I'm thinking everything but cancer. I was wrong. It was cancer. In the same breast, in the same area
.Even though I felt as if I was kicked in the stomach, I am blessed. It is a localized recurrence, the Pet Scan was negative and all 18 of my lymph nodes are clear. This is really great, all positives. I had to have a mastectomy, but they got it all and clean margins. The only down thing is that it is Triple Negative Cancer, the most aggressive form and the one that they have no sure treatment for.
I am recuperating at home now. Very lonesome time, no little ones around, it's cold outside so can't sit out on the patio or front porch, not allowed to drive yet, no visitors, my husband, bless him, comes home every day and has lunch with me. He is a saint with all he has to put up with. I love to read, but can't seem to get into the story. Everyone says to keep busy by reading, working cross word puzzles or something you like to do. Everything I like to do involves driving and being out of the house.
How they will treat me is unclear as I type this. The first time I had Chemo and Radiation, that is what caused the heart problems. I take a blood thinner for Atrial Fib, plus have a pace maker for slow heart beat. My age is getting up there, even though my mind is young.
Please keep me and my doctors in prayer so they can prescribe the correct treatment.
Even though a thousand and one things can happen in 10 years, and no one can predict the future, I would love to be around to see some of my grandchildren graduate from high school.
Thank you for all the cards and well wishes. They truly do cheer me up, yep I'm a wimp this time around. They said it is to be expected from what my body has been through, but I hate feeling blue.
Don't take your health for granted and thank God for your health and your family's. I know that some of my sisters will be reading this and they are fighting their own battle, please keep them in prayer also.
Thank you and God Bless