MEMORIES

 This morning I was going through a box full of books, papers, etc. all kinds of stuff that I had packed from last year, and I came across the Memory book. I self -published this in 2011. I don't really know if it is considered self published or not. I read this e-mail advertisement about making a soft-covered book out of your blog. I felt such excitement in knowing I could have this done. What a high I felt and without thinking twice, I said yes.

That was my first mistake. Instead of saying yes and hitting the send button, I should of sat back to read over my work, to look for mistakes. To re-read it to see what I wanted or did not want in "my published" book.
Why didn't I think of that? Did I think I was so perfect I could just send it in? I don't think I thought it was perfect, but looking back now, I realized I was just so excited that I could not see past the word publish. Sometimes I act impulsively and this was one of those times.

I could not wait to recieve it. I was like a kid waiting for a present to come in the mail. Checking the mail box everday, looking at the calender to see how long ago I sent it in. It seemed to take forever until finally, when I opened the mail box I saw what I knew was my "book". It was in a heavy manilla envelop with my name printed on it. I could not wait,  I hurried up the steps and ran into the house.  With out even taking off my coat or putting my purse down, I was opening up the heavy envelope. When I pulled out my book and saw the cover, it took my breath away. I just stared at it.

It was a picture of my two rocking chairs and a plant of flowers sitting on a stool on the back patio. It looked beautiful. To say I was in awe is putting it mildly. I was totalled enthralled with it, I felt so proud.

That is until I opened it and the first thing to hit my eyes was a mistake, my heart dropped some and as I started to read, all I could see were my mistakes in spelling and punctuation. I was beyond sad, I was disgusted with it and packed it away. I bemoaned to myself because I did not have enough sense to edit it. I chalked it up to my impulsiveness wondering when I would ever learn.

So here it is about a year later, and I am so glad I found it this morning. It really is interesting if I have to say so myself. I started to read it and could not put it down, I guess because I was reading my memories.

Sure there are mistakes, but that's me. I am not perfect and like my first boss said. "That's why they put erasers on pencils, so you can correct your mistakes." So, yes I can correct this and have it reprinted, but I can leave it like it is and that's what I am going to do - - -

Their Vacaion, Our Vacation

Excitement was in the air this morning as we helped load up our van with Brian and Janessa's luggage. They were leaving for two weeks in Hawaii and we were driving them to the airport.
They each had one carry on and one for overhead. They packed wisely.
Our son Brian is getting over having a terrible cold and still has some congestion so I'm praying he does OK on the plane flights.
They will leave Pittsburgh to fly to Chicago where they would eat lunch,  they have a four hour lay over, and then leave for Los Angeles, having another lay over before finally taking off for Hawaii.
 That's six times all together taking off and landing. No wonder it takes so long to get there. Why, if the planes didn't have to land and take off all those times it would not be such a  long trip. But no matter what way you cut it it's still between four and five thousand miles.
We could feel their excitement which made us excited for them. They will stay on the island where they land for the day to rest up and then the fun begins as they
 will be hopping from one island to another to see all. Brian wants to see everything about Pearl Harbor. Janassa is looking forward to snorkeling. By time they finished telling us all they have planned we want to buy tickets on the spot and go along with them!
After dropping them off at departure with a lot of hugs and kisses, and telling them this and that, you know how parents do, we pull away to start the drive home.
We are in awe of all the hundreds of cars,( at least a couple of thousand) filling up the short and long term parking areas. We discuss all of the money the airport is pulling in just from parking fees and what they do with it all. We decided we didn't know what they did with the money so
we both start talking at once about the same subject!  "Puerto Rico" - Reminiscing about our vacation there and St Thomas Island. How we were just as excited as Brian & Janassa were today.
   We stayed right  on Roosevelt Roads, a gated Navy base community. You could see the ocean from their enclosed patio, in fact we could walk to it. It was my first time ever to see banana's growing on trees. Beautiful coconuts looked so heavy as if they were ready to fall off the tree.
We were guests of my cousin and her husband. My aunt was already with them which was an added plus. What fun we had, nothing like being with close family when you are vacationing. Laughing at family jokes and just being at ease with each other.
They were great guides, showing us all the landmarks.  San Juan is an old city that was very interesting to tour. We saw the large cruise boats that had just pulled in., I watched for a little as the people were getting back on. I was happy it was not me getting on the cruise ship. Not fond of cruises at all!  
There were so many stores, they sale gold like they sale milk over here! I loved the  old cobblestone narrow streets that we walked along. there were quaint little stores on each side of the narrow streets that had awesome window displays, it made me want to go into each and every one, but of course I didn't. We went to the rain forest, all the way to the top - it was so breath taking beautiful. The mist we fellt on our bodies was so refreshing and the huge bambo poles were awesome to see. We could here the Cucans, big colorful birds squaking along with all of the other sounds, including the water cascading down the rock formation. Their was an old tower when we reached the top with rest rooms in it to freshen up. By time we reached the top we needed them!
We were so close to Luquillo beach, one of the most popular beaches in Puerto Rico with it's sandy white beach, tall palm trees and the beautiful turquoise ocean in front of us. Laying on the beach, we watched women as they weaved palm into hats, their fingers going so fast you couls tell they were sure of what they were doing. Yes,of course I bought one !- wish I knew where it was now. We saw and listened to a native guy playing happy sounding music on his guitar while sitting on an old stoop. There were little hutches here and there that served alcohol and wet drinks which we made use of maybe to much sometimes (lol).
 I was memorized by the beauty of it all. One day we hopped on a little prop plane to fly over to St. Thomas Island. I was the last one to board and the open seat was next to the exit door. The pilot comes back and sits by me, he starts telling me what to do if need be, I know my mouth was hanging open with my face white ,because I detest to fly, and I would be the last one ever  to get the door open or show any one out of the plane. All of my family knew this and started laughing. My cousin's husband took pity on me by getting up and changing seats with me. I have to say it was beautiful to look out the window at the white foam caps that was the ocean while flying to St. Thomas. We stayed the day  and shopped and shopped. No tax on jewlery and so many jewlery places to go into. We finished up the day by eating at one of the outside upscale resturants.
We have been on many vacations but this was the big one for us and one we will never forget. It was made so special by being with family to share it with.
Our next favorite place and we consider it "Our Place" is Rockport, Mass.
Someday I hope to write about those special times in our lives. I can still picture all of it in my mind, we went so many times it was like our home away from home.
Thanks for visiting, please leave a comment if you wish.

SPENDING THE AFTERNON WITH GRANDMA

This first full day of daylight savings time has been delightful in every way. It was such a beautiful ride, we didn't notice that it took the usual forty five minutes to get to White Oak.
After parking the van, we walk up the narrow sidewalk and see some of the daffodils in full bloom, the others are full of buds ready to burst open. There are even a few crocuses blooming in a beautiful shade of purple,and in passing the Dogwood tree we see new buds on it also.
My mother-in-law is expecting us, one of her sisters and our oldest son, Ron.
 Every time I come here to Mom's home, I can feel the warm welcome and a peaceful feeling comes over me. The house is over a hundred years old and has been well maintained, it has a lot of history for sure.
 An old locust tree post supports the main beam in the basement because they didn't have" I" beams back then (yes "I" beams), or they were unaffordable. There is a cold cellar filled with all the delicious home grown vegetables and fruit from the garden.
 The foundation is built out of stone and not cement. The banister going to the second floor is the original one that was in the house, but having 3 boys, it was never used for a bride. It's a four gable roof, so it has no attic. The original chimney is used for the original fireplace that still is used, but not very often since the death of her beloved.
It once had a pantry that is now a laundry room off the kitchen. I would love to have that in my home. To be able to have a laundry room off the kitchen would save so many steps for me and I would be able to continue to do my everyday chores while the clothes are washing or drying.
Two bedrooms and a bath upstairs, eat in kitchen, dining room, living room, foyer and a laundry room on the first floor with a basement that you could eat off the cellar floor if need be. She takes care of all of it by herself!
   The dining room table so perfectly set that it draws us, but before we  do anything we go into the kitchen, and there she is busy at work. Grandma to our children, great grandma to our grandchildren.
This 92 year old woman is on the move making her delicious home made waffles, in not one, but two waffle makers that are both full. I look to the coffee pot and see the  fresh fruit salad  that looks so refreshing in the crystal cut bowl. Serving platters are filled with bacon and sausage, done to perfection. She has prepared everything herself, the table, the food - she simply amazes us with her unbound energy
Asking if there is anything we can do, she says yes, give her a hug and a kiss, then grab the plates of bacon and sausage and put them on the table and could I check to see if she remembered to put the butter dish on the table, and oh, yes - could someone please pour the home made syrup into the pitcher.
When we are done doing what she says, she comes in with a platter filled with waffles that make your mouth water just looking at them. There are round ones and square ones perfectly browned. We fight over the round ones, some of us fight over the round ones but we all manage to eat at least one. They taste just as good as the square ones, but there is something about the round ones that makes us want them. 
 We all sit down and fold our hands in prayer while she prays a heartfelt prayer. Then  everyone is talking at once, could you pass the butter, could I have some bacon over here? Who has the home made syrup? Coffee's delicious Mom, she says ,"you sure you don't want some juice"  and now we are all eating and enjoying every mouthful. Telling her how delicious it is.
This is truly an act of love. As anyone who cooks knows, it is no small job to have all the food done and served warm all at once, especially breakfast - but somehow she manages it each and every time,
After everyone has had their full and are finishing the last of the coffee, we start to clean off the table, taking everything into the kitchen to prepare to put in the dishwasher.
Once that is done, Mom sits herself down at her organ and starts playing  Christian hymns softly. They are beautiful, and she sings softly along while she plays. We listen and some of us join in to sing How Great Thou Art.
Too soon the wonderful afternoon has come to an end and we prepare to leave. We would rather stay awhile longer but know its not possible. After thank yous and hugs ,she walks us out to the porch and watches while we get in our vans and cars. Telling us to be careful driving home, she waves while we wave back.
We are so fortunate to still have her with us, she is blessed to be able to take care of herself and her home. She still paints and has just finished an oil painting. It's  ready to take to her doctor, who had asked for another one after receiving one for a gift last year. 
A lot of jokes have been said and songs sung about mother-in-law's and how awful they are. It could all be in fun, but it could be that they mean what they say.
 I can't say we haven't had our differences in the past 48-1/2 years, but they were always resolved.  She has treated me like a daughter, especially since my parents passed away. Our sons and their wives adore her and the great grandchildren love her to pieces.
 There is one thing to mention. Though there is a dishwasher, her and dad never used a microwave. They bought one once but didn't like it one bit.
She still has and uses her original stove. A Tappan that looks almost as good as new, but being 50 years or older it has a few marks here and there, that oven and those burners still work their magic though.

by the way-spell ck won't work and it's highly impossible for this to be perfect, so please excuse all mistakes.

COMMENTS

Yes, that is true. I can attest to that because of my mother-in-law who is 92 and lives and maintains her own home. She has many extra hobbies included in her life.

I was mainly addressing the elderly who have not aged so well, even though their mind is still sharp their body cannot do the things they use to.

I have a 68 yr old dear friend who is in a nursing home. Why? Her sons do not want to take care of her. She is sometimes forgetful and does not have bodily functions. So they think they did they right thing by putting her there. It breaks my heart that they did this because they do not want to take the responsibility of having her live with them.

COMMENTS

The author makes a lot of valid points in his article, which are sadly true in many cases today. However, what he doesn't mention is that with the advances in medical care, many elderly are able to live independently at home longer.

My grandparents are 82 & 85 years old. They are still living at home with very little assistance and are happy that way. As close as we are, they have stressed that they don't want to move in with me and be a burden. There are several good programs out there that provide transportation and meal services to the elderly, keeping them in their homes longer. Most of their friends are also still living independently at home as well. Even in their 90's.

There are many elderly living in my neighbor who are living productive lives. You don't notice them so much because they blend in with everyone else. They don't sit at home much. They work longer, dress younger and take vacations unlike the elderly of previous generations.


So yes, while there is much to worry about as we age, it need not be the doom that the author describes in his article

SEQUESTERING

 I read a interesting article in our local Sunday Paper. It was written by Dr.Craig Bowron. I usually skip over articles that I think would be depressing to read. I like to read what people write about, but I pick and choose carefully. Why? Because if the title is depressing than I know the article will be and I am not reading the Sunday paper to be depressed.

The title "Why Is It So Hard To Let Die?" is something I would skip over and anyone that knows me would say right off the bat that I wouldn't read this. But - I did - - -

"Sequestering Our Elderly" keep many of us from knowing what it's like to grow old. Most of us are different from our parents or their parents.
In 1850, 70 percent of white elderly adults lived with their children. Today only 16 percent have their parents or parent move in with them. If they live really close to their love ones, than the child goes back and forth several times a day and always have their meals ready for them. The elderly struggles were plain to see by the children. (Dr. Bowron)

It's a whole different world today. For most it takes two paychecks to get by. Today the woman is in the working field also.
That's how our elderly become sequestered in nursing homes, assisted-living centers or have in home care takers, even nurses.

And that my friend, keeps most of us from knowing what it's like to grow old. We don't see their physical and emotional pain everyday. We don't realize how they yearn for phone calls or visits from their loved ones. Or getting a card through the mail.

The elderly off springs feel at peace, because they think their loved ones are safe and have good care.  Have you ever visited someone in a nursing home? Do you see the ones who look hopefully out of their rooms hoping that the footsteps they hear are for them?  Or what about the ones who are not able to get out of their bed and lay there 24/7. Their sons or daughters too busy with their family, do not take the time to visit. How can a person live with themselves doing that?
Think about it, truly - picture your self in that position. Picture it being like that day after day. Realize that this might be us some day. Scary isn't it?

If it is a scary thought for us - just think how our elderly feel. Not only scared but helpless.
As I am typing this I am thinking to myself - hey - people consider me elderly, even though I don't think I am.  What's elderly to me?  - hmmm - maybe 80 or older.

 And - there is the other side of the spectrum. The peerson who takes care of their loved one at home - day after day with out help. No one to give them a break.  They don't think that their elderly loved one will stay with anyone. It's easy for them to become resentful, to lose patience. They have no one to help share the burden. So what happens? They scream and holler at them because they can't take it any more. Sure, they feed them, wash their clothes, take care of their physical needs but lack in the emotional need.
Picture yourself being treated like that some day. Scary isn't it.

Other than visiting your loved one once or twice a week, sending cards or/and flowers. Calling every day I feel is a must. I never had to take care of my mom, but I made sure I called her everyday, sometimes twice a day. My brother lived with my mom and took excellent care of her. They both took care of each other in their own way. My mom towards the end was not in the best of health and was in and out of the hospital a lot. We went up a lot but not as much as I should have - why? It was a 45 minute drive one way and we had to go up right after work so we could get there before visiting hours were over. Could I have done more, yes, much more. I live with that today - - -

So what can we do to change things around?  You just can't get rid of Grandma or PapPap. They are as important as breathing air in your lungs.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

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