Sunday, March 4, 2012

SEQUESTERING

 I read a interesting article in our local Sunday Paper. It was written by Dr.Craig Bowron. I usually skip over articles that I think would be depressing to read. I like to read what people write about, but I pick and choose carefully. Why? Because if the title is depressing than I know the article will be and I am not reading the Sunday paper to be depressed.

The title "Why Is It So Hard To Let Die?" is something I would skip over and anyone that knows me would say right off the bat that I wouldn't read this. But - I did - - -

"Sequestering Our Elderly" keep many of us from knowing what it's like to grow old. Most of us are different from our parents or their parents.
In 1850, 70 percent of white elderly adults lived with their children. Today only 16 percent have their parents or parent move in with them. If they live really close to their love ones, than the child goes back and forth several times a day and always have their meals ready for them. The elderly struggles were plain to see by the children. (Dr. Bowron)

It's a whole different world today. For most it takes two paychecks to get by. Today the woman is in the working field also.
That's how our elderly become sequestered in nursing homes, assisted-living centers or have in home care takers, even nurses.

And that my friend, keeps most of us from knowing what it's like to grow old. We don't see their physical and emotional pain everyday. We don't realize how they yearn for phone calls or visits from their loved ones. Or getting a card through the mail.

The elderly off springs feel at peace, because they think their loved ones are safe and have good care.  Have you ever visited someone in a nursing home? Do you see the ones who look hopefully out of their rooms hoping that the footsteps they hear are for them?  Or what about the ones who are not able to get out of their bed and lay there 24/7. Their sons or daughters too busy with their family, do not take the time to visit. How can a person live with themselves doing that?
Think about it, truly - picture your self in that position. Picture it being like that day after day. Realize that this might be us some day. Scary isn't it?

If it is a scary thought for us - just think how our elderly feel. Not only scared but helpless.
As I am typing this I am thinking to myself - hey - people consider me elderly, even though I don't think I am.  What's elderly to me?  - hmmm - maybe 80 or older.

 And - there is the other side of the spectrum. The peerson who takes care of their loved one at home - day after day with out help. No one to give them a break.  They don't think that their elderly loved one will stay with anyone. It's easy for them to become resentful, to lose patience. They have no one to help share the burden. So what happens? They scream and holler at them because they can't take it any more. Sure, they feed them, wash their clothes, take care of their physical needs but lack in the emotional need.
Picture yourself being treated like that some day. Scary isn't it.

Other than visiting your loved one once or twice a week, sending cards or/and flowers. Calling every day I feel is a must. I never had to take care of my mom, but I made sure I called her everyday, sometimes twice a day. My brother lived with my mom and took excellent care of her. They both took care of each other in their own way. My mom towards the end was not in the best of health and was in and out of the hospital a lot. We went up a lot but not as much as I should have - why? It was a 45 minute drive one way and we had to go up right after work so we could get there before visiting hours were over. Could I have done more, yes, much more. I live with that today - - -

So what can we do to change things around?  You just can't get rid of Grandma or PapPap. They are as important as breathing air in your lungs.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Thanks for stopping by, come back again

1 comment:

Pamela said...

The author makes a lot of valid points in his article, which are sadly true in many cases today. However, what he doesn't mention is that with the advances in medical care, many elderly are able to live independently at home longer.

My grandparents are 82 & 85 years old. They are still living at home with very little assistance and are happy that way. As close as we are, they have stressed that they don't want to move in with me and be a burden. There are several good programs out there that provide transportation and meal services to the elderly, keeping them in their homes longer. Most of their friends are also still living independently at home as well. Even in their 90's.

There are many elderly living in my neighbor who are living productive lives. You don't notice them so much because they blend in with everyone else. They don't sit at home much. They work longer, dress younger and take vacations unlike the elderly of previous generations.


So yes, while there is much to worry about as we age, it need not be the doom that the author describes in his article.

Pam Walsh

Dee's shared items

SO MANY THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

This time of year makes me think of all of those things I have to be thankful for - - - -
my husband
my children
my grandchildren
my health
my freedom
always thankful for friends made