OH WHAT A TIME, A VERY SPECIAL TIME IN 1963

Way back in August of 1963 I was a young newly wed living in a small town called Port Vue. I was twenty years old, and didn't care if I lived in one room as long as I was with the man I loved, Ron. 
As it was we lived in an apartment building, one of many called Westwood Apartments. It was on the first floor, a cute little place, with a nice size bedroom, small bath, one huge room that consisted of the living room and dining room. The kitchen could only fit one person at a time. But it was our first place and we loved it. We made friends rather quickly with the other couples and would spend evenings playing cards or just hanging out. Our one neighbor, Donna, made the best fried chicken ever. She coated the chicken in crushed crackers and fried it in peanut oil. My mouth still waters just thinking about it. The family across from us were from the South and Fran, well she made the best Pecan Pie north of the Mason Dixon Line.
I hated to iron, and one day all three of us were discussing ironing. I told them I had at least two bushel baskets full of clothes to be ironed. Well, that's all I had to say, they left my place and came back with their ironing boards and irons, and we had an ironing party. What a fun time we had that afternoon and it all got done too!
When I had our first born, I was such a newby that I didn't have the baby formula made ahead of time. Little Ron would be screaming his head off and while holding him, I tried to make the formula. Here came the girls to the rescue, they heard him crying and came to check - they pitched right in, one sterilized the bottles, while the other made the formula and in no time, my baby was content.
 I have never forgotten them, they were the best and they taught me so much. I learned if you peel potatoes and let them set in cold water they will not turn brown, how to make Fried chicken and Pecan Pie. How to laugh at my mistakes and how to accept their generosity.  
 Ron at that time worked in the Westinghouse Astronuclear office located in Large, PA. He was in a car pool, so for two weeks his pride and joy, 1956 Chevy standard shift became mine! The Chevy was Ron's other woman. He loved that car, and was very proud of it.
 I for the life of me, could not comprehend how to drive a stick shift, no matter how many times the love of my life showed me.
Port Vue consisted of nothing but hills, and more hills. The very worse place to learn how to drive a standard, or the very best if you caught on quickly, I did not. 
I was okay driving, as long as I did not have to stop or shift gears. Heaven to murgatory if I had to stop on a hill, I had to have the clutch pushed in and my foot on the brake. When it came time to go, one of three things would happen.
 One, I would let out the clutch two fast, and the car would shake and jerk all over than quit! Two, I would give it to much gas and peel rubber. And three, I didn't let the clutch out far enough, and the car would start to drift backwards, I would have to push on the clutch and slam on the brake,and heaven forbid if there was a car behind me, I would roll down my window and wave him around so I would not end up hitting his car.
I thought nothing of driving the Chevy, even with all the obstacles I faced, I was young, and fearless 
 
In September of 1964, I became a mom to a beautiful baby boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. I could not believe that I produced this wonderful little human being. We did not have car seats back then, so I would lay my precious little bundle on the front seat of the Chevy, and away we would go. Sometimes I needed more than two hands, one to stop my baby from falling off the seat, and the other to shift gears. But we always made it to our destination, where my Mom had fresh coffee and lunch waiting.
 God watched over us, but not the Chevy, because I stripped the gears in the rear end trying to drive it!  Ron was really upset with me, it cost us a lot of money we didn't have to have it repaired. But he still let me drive it and as time went by I got the hang of it.

(My writing assignment for Memoir writer's group) 
 

MAKE US A CHANNEL OF YOUR PEACE

Make me a channel of your peace:
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love;
Where there is injury, your healing power,
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.

2. Make me a channel of your peace:
Where there's despair in life let me bring hope;
Where there is darkness, - only light,
And where there's sadness, ever joy.

3. O Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul - .

4. Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
In giving to all that we receive,
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

THURSDAY'S LUNCH

I'm having my lunch while sitting here watching TV. Listening to President OBAMA.
 I'm eating a can of pitted Black Olives along with Cashews. I think it is a pretty nutritional lunch. What do you think? My drink is a cup of McDonald's coffee. I'm suppose to be drinking water, but I am watered out right now.
 I love Black Olives and could eat a can a day, if not more.Green olives are tasty too, but I can't do a jar of them at all. It is a fulfilling lunch.
    I'm staying away from sugar as much as I can, I'm doing pretty well with that, because we don't have  candy in the house or cookies. What I do keep and am totally addicted to is "Gum". I chew gum like it is going out of style. My flavor of choice is, Juicy Fruit, followed by Double Mint, and/or one stick of both at the same time. I love Bubble gum also, but that is practically all sugar.  So when I feel a craving, I grab a pack of gum and just start out with one, then it might go into two sticks, when the flavor is gone, out it goes and new flavor goes in my mouth..
How can I write about all of this, when the world is in such an uproar?  The reason is that I'm wanting to feel some sort of normalcy to this beautiful spring day. I'm watching the birds as they fly freely by, The cardinal pecking for a worm, seeing the flag move with a gentle tug from the wind.  All the while listening to the President. He has to be feeling pretty frustrated that the person/persons have not been apprehended yet, while I, myself am feeling unsafe for our country.
 Sure his speech comes across strong. Words are just that, words, let's see some action - let them tell us what they are doing to apprehend theses people.
Truly, I have always liked to be in the midst of happenings, good happenings that is. Now I will think twice before I attend functions that draw large crowds. I know something can happen in the smallest of crowds, a small church group, a museum tour, an artist's show. Newman-town.
But most of these hurtful people wont go to the trouble for a small crowd. They want to make a impact on the world - it will happen in a large crowd, such as in Boston.
  Why do they say Boston stands strong?  Of course it stands strong, what else can it do? How could they not? The people who are affected by this tragedy are the ones who have to stand strong in spite of everything, The overwhelming grief, the loss of a limb, the loss of a child, that they brought there, the guilt they must feel. The person who did not take the time to say good morning or give a kiss of good luck or good by.
    Is God trying to tell us something?   What is your opinion?

A LETTER SHARED

 A letter I sent to a woman who lives alone, and down in the dumps, just thought I would share


Jo Ann,

  No, your right, life will never be the normal we know again. Lets face it, we will never feel safe again. But we will be able to enjoy our life and thank God for each day He gives us.
  I had Breast Cancer six years ago, I was treated with chemo and rads, and had been clean for six years, until I found the lump at the end of January. I never thought it could be cancer again, ha! I was so wrong.
  So now I just had my first chemo treatment last Friday and it was like dea ja vu, it was as if I had just been in the treatment room last month, not six years ago. The same chairs, the same snacks, the nurses, I wanted to scream and ask why am I here again, why do I have to go through this again, why me. Yes all those thoughts went through my mind. But then it was as if God nudged me and said - be thankful you found the lump, be lucky they got it all, be thankful. I am thankful even though I know it is triple negative stage 2 grade 3, it could be a lot worse and I am thankful it is not.
  I feel alone even when I am not alone, everyone seems to have a free mind, they laugh, talk, shop and so on.  I laugh and talk and shop, but not with a free mind.  I even think twice if I should buy something for myself.  I wonder if I will be here for the holidays or even for our anniversary in August. These are negative thoughts, and I know I should not think them, but sometimes they just pop in my mind.
 God has blessed me in so many ways, I pray that He continues to. I'm a fighter, I gave it all I had the first time, and I am trying to do it again this time. You should continue to do so too.
We are sisters, with our sisters standing behind us - we can do this. With our strong Faith, we can get through this. With determination we can get through this. With prayer we will get though this.

 

Dee, February's daughter

http:// forgetfuld.blogspot.com

THANK YOU

My Dearest Friends n Relatives,

I would like you all to know how very, much your thoughtfulness and caring has touched us .Thank you deeply for your prayers and all your generosity,

   The food was more than delicious, and for you to take time to bake it meant a lot to us. As most of you know I have a hard time accepting help in any way, but like this dear person said, it’s our way of showing their caring, and she was glad I caved in and let them cook for us. Thank too, for those who gave gift cards for food that too is a blessing.

   The Flowers, I love flowers and plants, thank you so much for sending and bringing them to me.  I love the balloons, so cheerful; they are still floating high in my living room!

   Cards!, I love to receive cards and send them. Thank you all for the thoughtful, beautiful cards and adding notes to them, and all of you who sent more than one to let me know you are thinking of me. I am so blessed. The phone calls, I love hearing from you Monica dear cuz, and I really appreciated hearing human voices, even when I was crying, you stuck by me - .

  The visits were great, My mentor, my director and boss came to see me twice, it was so nice to be able to sit with her and just talk about everything but work, I appreciate she took time out of her busy days for me. Besides my sons and their family coming to see me , I had these two friends from my writing group come, they were to stay an hour, but I would not let them go - they were such a hoot and had me in pain from laughing so much, It was good to laugh.

   My gym friend is another one who I had good laughs with, she is funny in her own way, I needed her visit that day.

IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THESE TO BE PLANTED!

NEW JOURNEY

   This Friday, April 12 at one o'clock, I will start
 Chemo treatments. I would so appreciate prayers so that I have no serious complications from the treatments. Bless you all for the prayers already being said for me. You have no idea how much that means knowing you all are praying for my good health.
    I think I was about 3 or 4 years old on the picture with my parents that I posted here. I had no worries or cares, such a innocent back then. Life as I knew it was secure, I was loved and happy.
   My life continued to be that way well into my adult years, up until about six years ago. It was October 17 of 2006 when I went for my mammogram, I was almost a year late, because I kept putting it off.   I had just been operated on for a benign cyst on my left breast and I was tired of having to go for tests and to the doctors. 
  I'm so thankful I did go when I did - the mammogram showed the tumor. It could not be felt by human hands. A mammogram saved my life, even though I was totally unprepared and shocked to hear that I did have breast cancer.  
 I was naive back then, I was frightened because I did not know what to expect or what my chances would be. At that time, the doctors said that I would do OK, because the tumor was small, they got it all with the lumpectomy, and no lymph nodes were involved. 
   I would only have to have four Chemo treatments and thirty three rounds of radiation. They said this was just a small bump in the road. They made it sound like it would be a piece of cake. 
  At that time I did not get papers to read about all of the side affects that could happen. And, at that time I did not have a pace maker, nor was I on a blood thinner. I got through all of the treatments through prayers from everyone that God heard and answered.
  It was six years from the day of operation, November 20, 2006, to November 20, 2012 that I had been free of cancer.  The way the doctors were assuring me that I was out of the danger zone. I was even starting to believe them. 
They were scheduling my appointments further apart, and I was starting to let my guard down. Even though I never felt safe, I was starting to think that maybe I was going to be.
    Fast forward to my last doctor visit in December of 2012 when I was told this, to January of 2013 when I myself found the tumor.
I thought maybe scar tissue, or fatty tumor, so I was not to worried. I made the appointment to be checked to be on the safe side. 
    After doctor visits, many tests and biopsy, the results were that the Triple Negative Cancer" had come back, in the same breast and in the same area. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach - a hard kick.
It was hard to accept. I had wanted a mastectomy the first time but was talked out of it, now I wondered if I would of had it would the cancer have come back. No use thinking that way, nothing can change what was already done.  So on February 27 I had a mastectomy, they said they got it all, and no lymph nodes were involved. This time they took 18 nodes, all the way up into my underarm. That is a good thing that they all came back negative. Plus my margins were clear.
     I said no reconstruction, if I was younger probably, but at my age I don't feel it is important. Though until I am altogether healed,  I can't get fitted for a prosthesis and it is hard to dress to go out.
    Triple Negative Breast Cancer is a very aggressive cancer, so far they have no back up plan once done with Chemo. 
    I just read a good book, the title is "I Want I New Life." That title sure hits home for me right now, because I do - "I Want A New Healthy Life."    Key word is" HEALTHY."  
    My faith is very strong, if it is God's will, my goal is to see my oldest granddaughter graduate from high school. She is twelve going on thirteen and in sixth grade. If God wants to give me a few more years after that I will gladly accept them.
    I was one of the ones who thought "it could not happen to me." because I was small busted, and no one on my Mom's side of the family had Breast Cancer. On my dad's side, his sister who was 80 at the time, had breast cancer, but I had not hooked up with my long, lost cousin yet. When we did find each other I found out that she had had BC during the same time as me,  the only difference was that she had a mastectomy and was not Triple Negative.
  Those that do research are finding out that breast cancer can come from the paternal side also, and we had been told so many times that it was just on the maternal side. Learn something new everyday eh?  
   My recuperation was hard, because I could not get out of the house, I was very sore, I had drains in, one for 5 weeks and until that came out (just last week,) I had visiting nurses come to check me.
  I cried a lot, me, who hates to cry, cried at the drop of a hat, still do sometimes, but few and far between. I had no visitors except once or twice my sons came over with their family or by themselves. When they would go to leave I would start to cry, it just came on. It was a lonely time. Too much time on a person leaves time to think all kinds of things. 
  So last Wednesday was the first time I drove, I did OK, it did not hurt my arm or chest, but it still hurts when I come up steps. I even went to work for 2-1/2 hours, did practically nothing, but was totally exhausted when I left. Today I cut Ron's hair and I could not wait to get finished because I was so tired. Hopefully my strength will get stronger, I might be fatigued during treatments though. But I am taking one day at a time and making the most out of it, if I find I can't do something then I will stop.
  Here is something else you might not be aware of. Did you know that dogs can get breast cancer?  So can men. In fact, a dear friends father passed away from breast cancer that had been at bay for many years, only to come back in a different part of the body.
  This is a fast put together blog, I am not going to critiqued it or change anything around. It is what it is.

I am thankful for all of you, God bless you

Dee, Dolores Rose, Dolores, ABC Dee, Mom, Mrs. C, Me Maw