In every day life, when I am out with more than one person, I make it a point to look in the eyes of all who I am with. It does not matter to me if they are upper echelon or lower. I want them all to feel engaged in the conversation, and most of all, to feel included.
It has always annoyed me to see a person talking with a few people, and only look one of them in the eye. If I am in a group like that, I tune the person out. I think to myself "this doesn't apply to me," why bother giving them my full attention. If the person should ask me a question, I usually say, "Oh, was I was part of that conversation?" It usually makes them pause, I don't know what they think, but at that point, I don't care what rude people think.
Don't get me wrong, when in a group of more than 2, 3 or 4, as in a dinner party. Two people can be talking to one another and two others can be talking to one another. It is kind of hard to include everyone in conversation with more than 6 people.
When I was part of the 40 hour work force, I would go out with 2 other workers for dinner and drinks almost monthly. We had a good time and enjoyed each others company, but sometimes, not often, they would start talking about someone I didn't know. At first I would listen, but as it continued, it was boring. Finally, I told them nicely about it, they did not realize what they were doing, and understood where I was coming from. Friends are people you can tell things like that to.
I consider myself a pretty good judge of character. I have been disappointed a few times, but hey, I can't be perfect all of the time!
I always wonder if someone I meet for the first time will "like" me. Sometimes I should think "will" I like them.
Not to long ago, I was with a person I thought of as a friend, not a close friend, but we shared quite a few things together. We were with a slightly "higher echelon", and even though the three of us were talking together, this "friend" only looked "slightly higher echelon" in the eye. At first it didn't dawn on me, but as it continued, "duh!" it was quite obvious. I was surprised to say the least, and disappointed in the person.
My problem is that I always think the best of a person. Even when they do things that make me think, or I know that they are being rude. I try to make excuses for them.
There are people out there in the world that if you do even one thing wrong - you are off their list forever. That to me is quite harsh and that person is losing out on a lot. They just narrow their world down considerably.
It takes a lot for me to give up on a person , I keep thinking - oh they didnt' mean to do that, even if it happens more then once. I am at most a fool for thinking that way.
How about you?
Thanks for stopping by and letting me know what you think.
This is a work in progress as I use this for my writing skills also.
1 comment:
Hi Dee,
It might be that the person won't look you in the eye because they are very shy or have no confidence. Just sayin'.
Nice that you always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don't like cliquishness either. :)
Megan
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