Friday, January 20, 2012


     VENDETTA  A private quarrel between families or persons.

     In many cases the nationality that make up the melting pot of America do not keep quarrels among themselves.
Why is that? Because the human being has to vent, to get it off their chest so to speak. If they keep it to themselves it could fester inside of them or cause them stress. I'm speaking women here, not all women but enough.

Men, now as far as I know, well, they don't have that problem, at least none of the ones that I know. I think if they did - they would say what they have to say and then its forgotten and they go on without holding a grudge. Unless they coveted their neighbors wife or goods or even worse took a life.

My husband and I have and still do try to stress to our children that their siblings will always be there for them.  To stay close and do things together. We are blessed that they do and they are close. One of the things that draws them together is their love for music. They have a band called "The Family Tradition Band". They are quite good actually. They sing country, oldies, rock and we even have our own "Elvis" If you ever get the chance come and hear them play.
 It started about 9 years ago and they still  play together. Our one son is involved, just not musically inclined even though he can sing certain songs and play certain instruments.  I think once we are gone this will be a sure thing that will keep them together. I would love for the cousins to know each other and be friends since there are only 7 of them on the Clark side, all girls except for one little guy.  Our boys did not have any blood cousins because we were the oldest of our brothers by 5 or 8 years, quite an age gap. But we had Tom & Nancy - we were as close as any one can be, they have 3 boys all around the ages of ours. We spent holidays together, weekends together- - they were our family even though not by blood. We continued that relationship to this day only now without our beloved Tom. Sometimes you find a rare treasure in people and are blessed to have them in your lives and that's how it was and is with them.

We don't want to have  "Vendetta's"  in our family. When you live through family feuds and see the  sadness each one causes the other -and when you live through their passing without ever resolving their differences -your heart breaks because it's finished and  can never be undone. You think what was that all about? Something someone said and the other person took it the wrong way, or some stupid thing not even worth me trying to think of  to write it down. All you know is that you never want  your loved ones to ever go through that kind of hurt. You don't want them to be on the outside looking in ever. Life is way to short for over-reacting or mis-understandings. It not only involves the two who are upset with each other over some stupid thing, but also their families. I don't ever want that to happen with our sons and their families. If one or the other gets upset about something,  I hope they will always to be able to talk to one another and clear the air, then forget and forgive so they can still have each other in their lives.

Friends may come and go, but family sticks together. They have had excellent role models from their dad's side.  I swear Ron's side - they are all saints - each one of them - such love they show each other is amazing. I just don't mean Ron's immediate family, but the aunts, uncles and cousins. They rise to every occasion. They look out for each other in every way. I am blessed to be part of such a loving family. I learned a lot. 

Now, in my Italian family, it was different, Not with my parents, but their siblings,  both sides had problems that lasted for years without anyone trying to make it right.  My mothers side was over money - money - the root of all evil - truer words were never spoken. Because of money brothers and sisters never talked up until the day they passed on.  The other side pride - I missed out on many activities because of pride. Pride gets you no where, money - if you don't have your health what good is it? If it breaks up a family what good is it.  Now those people  are gone and just those unpleasant memories remain of later life. We still have the fun good memories of better days when ever everyone would gather to break bread. There were plenty of those days for memories.

I have not gone unscathed either, I tried to right it but to no avail. I have no misgivings or ill will towards them, If they want to carry a Vendetta so be it, I know I tried to make it right.After going through a life threatening disease I have no time for pettiness in my life. Life is to precious. but it is sad for others to take sides without even knowing both sides. They have to live with that and no one else, it probably does not even bother them.

 And finally - After wasted years of heartache my brother and I are rebuilding our relationship and it is wonderful inside my heart because of that.

So now my question to myself is - will I publish this or not? I don't have much of a following that it would matter. And I write for myself mainly, but keep a copy of everything for my children so they can pass it on to their children.  This is just one of many that I have written, and the only one that is not all peaches and cream, but then life is not all peaches and cream - - -  -maybe they will learn from our mistakes.

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Dee's shared items


This time of year makes me think of all of those things I have to be thankful for - - - -
my husband
my children
my grandchildren
my health
my freedom
always thankful for friends made