When I am away from our home for a week, a day or even a couple of hours, I exhale a large sigh of relief when I get home? I might have been stressed from shopping, working, being at school, or coming home from a hospital stay, but as soon as I walk through the door I am thankful to be home.
I admit, I never think twice if our home is standing or not, I just expect it. Some people might move from home to home through the years, but where ever they end up living, it is still home, it's a given that is taken for granted by many including me.
I probably think of crazy things that never enter other people's mind. Lately I have been thinking of how homes and parents are alike, even though one is an object and the other a human being. I imagine children look upon their parents almost the same way as their home. The home, the parents - equal security- the grown children think the house will always be there, just like they expect their parents to always be there.
I know that I looked upon my childhood home as a given, I never thought twice it would not be there for me, and yes, I looked upon my parents as a given in the same way. I could never imagine my mom or dad not being here beside my brother and I.
I know that a human is more fragile than a home, a home can withstand many a storm where a humans body can be beaten down with illness and despair. Just like a house has to be kept in good shape to last, a parent has to keep feeling needed and loved to mentally stay in shape. Parents need to feel needed in some capacity, most of us gave our all to our children even while working out of the house or in the house, so it makes me wonder why some adult children push their parents aside. If it was not for the loving and giving parents that the majority of adult children had growing up, they would not be the adult they are today, or the good husband, wife, father, mother. Some kids do make time for their parents but they look on it as a chore, and there are the ones that do it with feelings of love and thankfulness they are able to. Of course there are the ones who tramp all over their parents,use them for their own needs, their own wants - until they have crushed them to the ground mentally and physically. Thank goodness this is not the majority. The parents can also treat their children the same way, abusing them, ignoring them, teaching them all of the wrong things to do and never a hug to be given.
Blessed are those lucky enough to have had both parents, adopted or not, grandparents or not that raised us in love and in a good Christian home. Not everyone was so fortunate, many kids grew up in dysfunctional homes. Some of those kids made it through the rough times and some buckled under the pressure and didn't. Even a few of the kids that had it all didn't realize it and tossed it out like an old discarded toy.
Many parents are blessed that their children live close or within driving distance to visit and be close to the grandchildren. The grand kids sleep over, bake cookies, go out to dinner or to the zoo, go shopping, - But- like with everything. there is an exception to the rule - because even though parents and children might live close by, one or the other might be too busy to make time to stop and visit by themselves or with the grand kids, even when passing by. Kids have many activities to participate in and some choose more then one. Some parents like to coach and some like to attend functions and when you have more than one child that becomes a very hectic and busy time in the home because you have to make time for all of their functions.. So if the grandparents want to see their grand kids and take part in their active life they attend all or as many as the can activities.
What makes it hard is when a grandparent is not able to attend for one reason or another, they are the ones who lose out on sharing fun times through no fault of their own. That's when the extra push comes in for parents to make the time to have their kids visit their grandparents to tell them all about their activities. It is a neat that there is face time because that allows a grandparent to be there if not in person at least almost in person but nothing can take the place of a face to face visit and hug.
I know of very few parents who don't give a hoot if they don't see their kids or grand kids, the majority live for those times and I am one of the majority.
I think my husband and I are like most grandparents and love when the kids and the grand kids visit, our house once again becomes lively and gay, the quietness is no more, but all good things must end.
Some of my kids lived with us until they were 28 and 30 years of age - there has always been some man/child around to make it lively and it has taken a long time to get use to the quiet But the home is still standing, our haven against all storms even when some storms push their way inside, the home is still a haven.
Do you have any thoughts on this?.