IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR, OR IS IT?

The end of 2012 is only a day away. Tomorrow at this time most of us will have the traditional Pork and Sauerkraut already in the Crock Pot or in the oven.
Or maybe you will be going to First Night, or a house party? Staying home, just snuggled up, enjoying seeing the activities on TV?
 Whatever your plans, may God bless you and yours, keeping everyone healthy and safe.

I use to think if I was not happy during the holidays there was something wrong with me. I thought that everyone was happy and having fun. I know for a fact that was how it was when I was growing up at home, and while my parents were alive. 
So I tried to achieve this air of happiness, even when I was not feeling so happy. When the kids came along, it was easy to be happy, because I saw the Christmas holidays through their eyes.

The kids grew up and left the nest, my parents passed away, my husband's father, and not to long ago, we lost a very dear friend.

And, once more I was not feeling very happy during the holidays. 
Too much change, big changes to get through and to accept.

My mom and brother always stayed over Christmas Eve, we would make the smelts, apple fritters, Christmas Eve spaghetti, and friends would stop over. Now there is a void. I tried to keep up the tradition for Christmas Eve, even though it was not as much fun as when my mom and brother were there. 
The kids want me to continue to make everything. It would be fun to have everyone pitch in. Now the Christmas Eve spaghetti is made by Erika, and it is delicious, I am so happy that they are doing one of our traditions. In the next few weeks I will have everyone here to show them how to make the pizzells. Then the apricot horns.
 
I was use to having my kids on Christmas Eve and Christmas, New Years Eve and New Years. But they have family of their own and lives of their own. So there were many changes, I have a hard time with change. But because of our great grandchildren, we have a wonderful Christmas day. They bring such excitement and happiness with them. And it is wonderful to have the whole family together. We are blessed.

 Today, I was thinking of my cousin Anne, who gave such a fight for life, but passed away a few days before Christmas. I was feeling down, because I was not able to attend her funeral on Saturday. I wonder how everthing went, I talked to my brother briefly and he just said the Mass was beautiful. I was glad to hear that. 

It's tough when I only drive local, it hinders me in many ways. But I woke up that morning with a touch of whatever all of the family was going through, and knew I was in no shape to go anywhere.
 
 I started thinking today,  you know how you do sometimes? Your mind just wanders. And I realized that I have lost 5 cousins through the years. All young!  
  My cousin Joseph, who had such a great smile, my Uncle Patsy's son, died many years ago, but I can still remember being at his wedding like it was yesterday.
  My cousin Frank, a young husband, father and  policeman, unexpectedly passed when he was on duty, in a bicycle accident. I remember him as fun loving, full of life cousin.  
  Also unexpectedly, my cousin Sandra, who was a bridesmaid in our wedding, and always healthy, passed at the age of 62, in 2010.
  On my dad's side, back in the early seventy's, 
my dad's young nephew died while trying to swim across the river. 
  And now Anne, who also was a bridesmaid in our wedding. We kept in touch with one another since 1995. I always laughed when I talked with her, she was so fun to talk to and she would tell me how she loved going places. And we would talk about our family history.

It will be tough not being able to talk with her and share things with her. She will be missed by so many, she was the core of the cousins and closest to me in age, I wonder if I will be seeing the others now, they are young and dear to me, even though I am old enough to be their mother. 

I have two dear ones who are out of state, I hope to keep in touch with them. 

And  - - -  - 

This year went by so fast, the months flew. Did it go fast for you too?
 Thinking about this past year, I realized that I did not accomplish my own personal goal that I set for myself. I will just add it on my to do list for this New Year and make sure it is the first one I do.

Finally we have Winter's first snow. And it is here during the Christmas holidays! What a difference the landscape looks, covered with freshly fallen snow, such a beautiful sight to look at, even more so with the roads being clear.

  During times like now, I love riding by our local high-school. There is a hill on the side of the school that is perfect for kids to go sled riding. Every time I drive by, the kids are there with their sleds looking like they are having a fun time. Our sons went sled riding down that same hill when they lived at home.

 I would of loved to stop and try it myself, but didn't have a sled with me. I will have to wait until I go to visit at Doug or Jeff 's home. Then I will use one of my grand children's sled and go down their hill. I won't have to worry about slamming into trees or going into the street at either home.

This year will be a big one for Ron and myself.

  God willing and the creek don't rise. (My dad's favorite quote.)

  2013 will be a huge year for The Clarks',

  Ron and I both turn (70) Seventy, this year, and it will also be our Fifty (50) year wedding anniversary. God willing we will be able to celebrate it in good health.

First of all, I can't even believe I will be 70, even though my body tells me in so many different ways, my mind won't accept it. I am thankful that I am still here, and looking forward to celebrate 50ty years of marrage with my soul mate, who I could not imagine life without.  

A very Healthy, Peaceful & Happy New Year my dear friends.